Sorry...

Hey there, my precious..

It's been so long, huh? I think about writing a letter to you every single day, sayang.. But I just couldn't find the time coz there's always something to do; work, and whenever I'm free, it's always having my world wrapped around you...

But I always feel like i don't spend enough time with you.. And oh Micah if only i have an option, I'd spend 24/7 with you... If only we're not in such a bad financial shape, I'd do that.. But please know that Mommy and Papa never thought least or even second of you.. You're always our number ONE TREASURE.. and that's why we spend our time and struggle to work because we want to give you a good life... There's no other way we can do it but work, baby.. We don't want things to be hard for you.. We want to have enough money for you to grow up well and healthy.. Kalau buli sampai ko kawin, ada anak, buy you a house Mommy sama Papa mo supply ko.. But we do what we can..

And I only hope that every morning when you find it hard to let me go off to work, but kiss me goodbye and say "I love you" anyway, you understand that it's not my favorite thing to do, that I'd rather not say goodbye ever, that I do it all for you... =')

And baby, please also know that I try to make up for lost time by spending and mostly appreciating every single moment i have after work with you; singing, playing, just being silly... I hope you're old enough to acknowledge those little moments, because i do, and it means the world to me.. How I love you holding me by my cheeks and kiss my forehead, or you just saying "See, Mommy, see" and (try) to do a breakdancing or whatever it is... hahaha.. My boy...

I love you, Micah... And I hope you'll never forget that..

Love,
Your mom..

But I Will Love You

Dear Son,

My heart still skips a beat every single time I think about how you were created in my womb... how you were slowly but surely you developed from an embryo to a fetus week by week... Throughout the whole duration of conception to birth, I marveled at the thought of you gradually grow your cells, veins, heart, lungs, brain, hands, feet, the dimples on them, nails, teeth, hairs... Every visit to the doctor, I cried because no matter how many times I get to see you on that scanning machine screen, it still feels unbelievably magical, every time.

I knew having you would change my life forever... I knew that priorities will shift, times would be occupied, tension will rise, headaches will occur, my body will be rest and sleep deprived, worries will be a constant companion, and so will tears... They were all written in the books I read. But no one told me about constant marvel, pride, and everlasting and unconditional love... I've never loved anyone or anything, not even myself, as much as this... Sometimes I feel like the word 'love' itself is not enough to describe what I feel for you, Sonshine... Every time I think of how much I love you and how bad I want everything in the world to be right for you, it makes me cry, because truly, my heart can't contain them..

Times will change. You will grow up, old and wiser. We will argue, we will fight. You will hate me or not. I will be angry at you at times. Your attentions will shift. You will learn to love others. You will want others and not just me. Things will change. You will not need me. You will want other things. We will grow apart. We will not understand each other. You will leave me out. I will grow old and wither. You will love me differently.

But I will love you, forever and a day...

Love,
Your mother.